Thursday, July 13, 2006

Play nice in the sandbox, children!

Someone commented to me once that anyone who thinks blowing up the entire Middle East is a good solution to the conflicts there is “ignorant.” According to this person, anyone who would say such a thing is “stupid” and “a brain-washed, xenophobic, egotistical, imperialistic American.” “Most of the people who live in the Middle East are just ordinary people like you and me,” this person stated. “How would you like it if someone suggested the greatest solution to the problem of America was bombing it and all its people?” This person went on to add, “Not to mention that other, non-Middle Eastern countries have ties to the Middle East. So you couldn’t bomb that portion of the world without pissing off, say, China or Russia. They would bomb whoever bombed the Mid-East, and then you’d have a huge World War. Instead of solving the world’s problems, you’ve just created an even bigger one with fewer people in it.”

Ok, I guess that person had a point. But I don’t really care. Because being irrational and angry is what this blog is all about.

You know who else is irrational and angry? Those Hezbollah guerrillas. Hey! I know a good idea! Let’s kill a whole bunch of Israeli soldiers! So what does Israel do? Bombs the fucking Lebanese airport. Then Hezbollah is like “Oh — you want to play? You want to get down motherfuckers?” so they bomb some shitacular northern Israeli province. It’s like a practical joke war, only, of course for that pesky side effect of human casualties.

Both groups, of course, are accusing the other of performing “acts of war.” I’d point out that Hezbollah clearly started this one first, but it somehow ceases to matter.

Seriously, I really want to know why the fuck these people are all so violent? The Mid East is a pretty horrendous section of the world to live in, what with its sand and hot and sand and hot and sand. There’s probably not much to do there, or much to take joy in. But Jesus Christ. Why can’t you all just go to work everyday, come home, feed your families, play with your kids, watch bad TV and get fat like the rest of the world? Why can’t they stop attacking everyone around them? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??

You know, that person who said we shouldn’t bomb the Middle East was probably right. Clearly they are continuing steadfast in their efforts to do that themselves, anyway, so why bother?

7 Comments:

Blogger Cup said...

I just think it's funny. Terrorist groups set off a bomb, kidnap Israeli soldiers....so Israel says "Fuck this" and just bombs the fuck out of their country and puts a blockade on their port, effectively shutting down 95% of their import/export.

Tell me that if Mexico or Canada didn't do the same....shoot a couple missles at Texas, or kindap a few soldiers from Minnesota, that we wouldn't send a squadron of B52s and carpet bomb Montreal or Tijuana? If anything, I think Isreal should just invade all the countries and get it over with. After all, we did it in Iraq twice!

4:20 PM  
Blogger Oedipa Maas said...

Would carpet-bombing Tijuana actually improve the landscape? A thought to ponder...

4:22 PM  
Blogger Oedipa Maas said...

Also, "carpet-bombing" sounds sexual. I don't have a point with that statement, I just wanted to let you in on my thoughts.

4:23 PM  
Blogger Cup said...

i think carpet-bombing beirut is making some upgrades to the area too....

7:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hmm, carpet-bombing sounds like fun. skeet-skeet-skeet. kinda like shoveling snow. :-D
WORD!

1:54 PM  
Blogger Ruth Dynamite said...

Just give those darned kids some religion and they'll be blowing each other up in no time!

9:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm I love the idea behind this website, very unique.
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3:35 AM  

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